


and the history books forgot about us.

by angelica_barnes



Series: ABC [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Character Study, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 18:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: the five people Alexander Hamilton loves.7. ghost. goodbye.





	and the history books forgot about us.

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Samson" by Regina Spektor
> 
> based off "Satisfied" from Hamilton (obviously)

 

**In life we always fall for the person that will never fall for us,**

**always want something that we can’t and always say things we shouldn’t.**

 

**\- Zayn Malik**

  
  
  


 

It’s on the first night of another hot July that Laurens meets Alexander Hamilton. He’s charismatic, fearless, quick-witted as a whip, and Laurens notices.

Hamilton flirts. With everyone, men and women alike, and Laurens especially, who blushes and shakes the hand he’s offered. Warm, like the fire alight in Laurens’ heart, and soft, like their voices beneath the rousing shouts and laughs of those else in the tavern.

Hamilton licks his lips with an enticing smile, as if daring Laurens closer. “So, Laurens. Shall we dance?”

Laurens chuckles, eyes twinkling, and brushes a stray hair behind Hamilton’s ear. “Call me John.”

(No can know, and so no one does, but Hamilton writes enough letters and whispers enough sins that soon the point is stressed enough to be believed - Laurens may not be known, but he is the first one Hamilton loves.)

  
  


 

It’s on a late night in early December that Angelica meets Alexander Hamilton. He’s intelligent, relaxed at the brief touch of eyes most people pay him, and Angelica is sure she’s the only one who recognizes the nervous energy that surrounds him.

She smiles as he approaches her, pretending to be too interested in the glass of wine she’s currently sipping, but he can see through her same as she him. He holds out his hand for hers and kisses the back of her palm and each knuckle lightly once as he murmurs his name, and she feels her heart beating loud and fast in her chest, luring her towards him.

She clears her throat and gives a closed-lipped smile, grin threatening to burst through. She accepts his offer to dance, and her eyes sparkle with the wonder of realizing that this is what falling feels like. That this is what she could feel like every day.

“You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied,” he says softly, eyes flicking to her lips, and she swallows.

“I’m sure I don’t what you mean,” she challenges, voice too soft to be even the slightest bit lashing. “You forget yourself.”

(No one can know, and so no one does, but Hamilton writes enough letters and whispers enough secrets that soon the point is stressed enough to be believed - Angelica may not be known, but she is the second one Hamilton loves.)

  
  


 

It’s on a late night in early December that Eliza meets Alexander Hamilton. He’s courteous, and sweet, and his lips are like a rose against her shaking hand and his fingers like downy feathers on her hip.

She blushes and smiles, drinking in his golden amber eyes, and he stares into hers, silent. She hopes it is somehow because of her that he finds himself speechless.

He says something beneath his breath that she cannot catch, something she feels must be not meant for her ears just yet, but she knows in time she will learn everything there is to know about him, and she is confident that in that same time she will learn to love all those things.

“Thank you for all your service,” she whispers, then coughs because it came out quieter than it was supposed to, then blushes because she’s just coughed in front of the man she hopes to charm into marrying her.

But he just smiles, eyes twinkling, and she melts into his hold, forgetting her sister’s watchful gaze if only for a moment.

“If it takes fighting this war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

(Everyone can know, and so everyone does, but Hamilton writes so many letters and whispers so many confessions that soon the point is stressed enough to be only hers - Eliza may not know her place in his heart, but she is the third one Hamilton loves.)

  
  


 

It’s on the first night of another hot July that Maria meets Alexander Hamilton. He is rich, and prosperous, and she sees a chance for fame and forgetfulness with him, and takes it.

He doesn’t smile at her, a permanent frown etched on his face, and she almost feels his pastime, but then his lips brush her neck and she remembers why she’s doing this, and it’s not for its pleasure.

She leads him upstairs to the bedroom, and closes the door, praying her husband won’t be home tonight. Better he makes off with another woman in some tavern than interrupt her and her chance at the same sort of drunk happiness.

But alas, he arrives, and she cries and sobs and falls to her knees to beg as the two men she belongs to fight to be rid of her, and Hamilton glares down at her with a cold and calm sort of fury, as if she is something he believes worthy to be tossed to the side when unneeded and nothing more.

“Just give him what he wants and you can have me,” she chokes out, clawing at his sleeve as he storms towards the door. He whips around and his eyes are furious pools of fire, mirror images of the burning tears in her own.

“I don’t want you!” He screams, spit scalding her scarlet cheeks, and she wails in despair.

(No one can know, and so everyone does, but Hamilton writes too many letters and whispers so many infidelities that soon the point is stressed enough to be only hers - Maria may not know her place in his heart, but she is the fourth one Hamilton loves.)

  
  


 

It’s on a freezing night in early mid January that Alexander Hamilton meets himself.

His eyes are bright and curious. His mouth is the upturned grin of someone too mischevious for their own good. His body is lean and emaciated. His mind is alive and his soul is pure and his heart is beating.

Life comes in the form of a hurricane, and he finds his thoughts preoccupied with the impossible task of breathing while he drowns.

There is Laurens. There is Angelica. There is Eliza. There is Maria.

His eyes are empty beauty. His mouth is the downturned frown of someone too tired to sleep. His body is weak and heavy. His mind is dying and his soul is stained and his heart is barely beating.

It’s on a warm morning in early mid July that Alexander Hamilton meets himself, and he may be known or not known, but he is the fifth and last person Hamilton loves.

  
  
  


 

**There are always two deaths,**

**the real one and the one people know about.**

 

**\- Jean Rhys**

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! ;)


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